Becoming The Master Of Your Own Life

In my private work as a coach/mentor/consultant, I help clients to answer one overriding question:

If you build your life & business around being wholly true to yourself, what will that look like?

It’s crucial to consider this question if location independence is also your goal. Why? Because crafting a life and business of freedom will likely mean swimming against the tide, coming up against the unshakeable beliefs of those around you, and constantly questioning your decisions and justifying your choices.

I call it Life and Business Mastery; the ability to craft and stay your course, no matter what’s happening around you.

If you’re curious to learn how to do this, here’s how to get started…

Improve Your Powers of Perception & Awareness

Before you can determine what being true to yourself looks like, it’s an obvious pre-requisite that you have to know yourself! You’d be surprised how few people truly do, or at least acknowledge the true them.

Most of us are so fixated on projecting the person we want to be to the outside world, that it’s very easy to forget who we really are.

To get back in touch with this, I encourage my clients to do the following:

  • Begin to notice your self talk; the voice in your head is typically what you really think and what you really want to say or do. Become more aware of what that voice is saying (without judging it).
  • Pay attention to the times when your actions are out of alignment with the voice in your head. If the voice really wants to do one thing but you find yourself doing another, make a mental note of how it feels when this happens.

As you become more perceptive and aware of your own behaviours, actions, thoughts, beliefs and feelings, you’ll become more in touch with what it is you really want.

Determine What Works For You

With your increased powers of perception and awareness, you will find it much easier to figure out what works and what doesn’t, because you’ll be more attuned to listening and hearing the feedback you’re receiving – both internally and externally.

When you’re trying to figure out what works for you (and what doesn’t), I like to start by using the analogy of concentric circles:

  1. Imagine the core of the circle is your heart…
  2. Then the inside of your body is the next circle…
  3. Then what’s immediately surrounding your body (skin etc.)…
  4. Then what’s further out (clothes, space, environment, people etc.)…

At each level, it’s about determining what works best for you…that is, what keeps your heart happy? What keeps your body happy? And so on.

Reduce Distractions

The reality is that there will be – and likely already are – many, many distractions along the path to mastering your life. Anything that causes you to veer from your path is a distraction which can include:

  • Beliefs – even with heightened perception and self awareness, we still sometimes harbour beliefs that don’t serve us well. They crop up at the most inconvenient times – when we’re at our weakest, our shakiest and our least confident. They’re the voice that says, “You’re a fool for thinking you could do this”, “Who on earth do you think you are?” and “You don’t deserve this”. Stop these thoughts in their tracks, and find ways to alter your thought patterns – study techniques such as NLP if you want to learn how to master your words.
  • Behaviours – do you still faff around on social media for hours at a time? Still constantly checking your emails? Your unhelpful behaviours will derail you, if you let them. Identify your distracting and self-destructive behaviours, then eliminate them. Ruthlessly.
  • People – the naysayers, the dissuaders, and anyone who feels threatened by your new behaviours and beliefs can derail you with a well-placed comment or question. While you can’t exactly eliminate the people around you who are like this, you can reduce the amount of time you spend with them, and lessen their impact on you when you’re in their company. A useful technique is to imagine surrounding yourself with a protective barrier or shield; whenever you’re in the company of a naysayer, activate your shield and let their words, energy and emotions bounce off you and back to them.

These three steps and the techniques I’ve shared will help you form solid foundations of mastery, whatever lifestyle you want to craft for yourself.

When you approach life this way, you make conscious decisions about everything. Nothing is left to chance, nothing is left to happenstance and you decide everything, actively.

To learn more about the skills I mention in this article, and even more than that – join the The Mastery Series for the kind of offbeat education I wish I’d received before we got started