Dec
Three Fears I Had About Leaving The Rat Race That Didn’t Come True
Photo by thisisanicephoto
Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of former US President Franklin D. Roosevelt, is quoted to have said “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop look to fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
From a very young age we are often taught to play it safe, don’t you feel? On the whole we’re encouraged to cling on to security rather than grab a great opportunity that would involve taking a few risks.
A few years ago I decided that working 60 hours per week in a job I didn’t like for 260 days in the year wasn’t the best use of my short time on earth. I could think of many other wonderful things to do that didn’t involve working harder to make other people richer.
What followed was a very frustrating period where I constantly thought about what I really wanted to do but my limiting beliefs kept me safely tucked inside my cubicle.
My fears had paralysed me and they looked a little like this…
Fear of Failure
In the year leading up to my resignation I didn’t think anyone would want to invest in my services which meant that I would have to stay in the job I hated and continue to stay in London. With business failure being such a social stigma in my country it weighed heavily upon my mind. With hindsight I realise it’s important to have your own definition of success; and my definition of success now, is one that supports and motivates me rather than puts me under undue pressure.
Divorce
I knew that starting my own business would put us under a bit of financial strain and our lifestyle would suffer to begin with. There were some big changes such as choosing a much smaller apartment (we have a lot of stuff), taking fewer and less exotic holidays and also some more subtle changes such as buying the Sunday papers rather than daily newspapers.
Not grounds for divorce ( I think!) but my belief at the time was that all of this and the extra work I would have to put in to make my business viable would put a significant strain on my relationship with Claudia. Fortunately, we’re still going strong.
Everyone would think I was brave but foolish
I had told very few people about my plans to leave my job and start my business because I feared the response I would receive. Family members, friends and colleagues can unwittingly project their own fears and beliefs onto you and that can considerably dent your confidence. When I eventually did leave my job a few simply didn’t believe or understand how I could become a LIP and be a successful one. But on the whole I got a great deal of encouragement and support.
I haven’t overcome all my fears yet and there are days when I fret over what are usually minor things. But if you believe in yourself and rise to the challenge to pull through the difficult times your confidence will grow making what you previously thought impossible achievable.
What were - or are - your fears about deciding to leave the rat race and become a LIP?
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Just found your site via the Freelancing site - I love it when I find other nomads.
I’ve traveled around the world for a year and we’re about to leave again, and this time I’ve set up shop virtually so we too can be location independent. I’ll definitely be checking back here for inspiration and ideas. Thanks for the great site!
Ray
“my definition of success now, is one that supports and motivates me rather than puts me under undue pressure”
I really like this sentence above. It can make all the difference to be doing what you like for a living.
Hi Greg
Thanks for the insights to your fears…
I think for me the biggest fear is forgetting all about my business plans when I arrive on a tropical island. I’m a little concerned that I’ll be tempted to relax too much, and before I know it - a year will have gone passed, and I will have had a fantastic time - but I’ll be skint, and have no business.
The great thing about fear though is that it warns you of a potential outcome… You can then prepare for it… My fear actually becomes my driving force. Because I sooo - don’t want to end up in the situation described above - I will make sure that I don’t….. !!
Cheers again…..
Great post.
I think so many people never do what they really want because of fear and the unknown. We cannot let that stand in our way.
I always loved the question:
“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
We must think more in these terms.
Thanks for the read…
list of philosophies - I agree, that question is great and I love it. I also think this is a useful one to ask…
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
Hi Tina
I’m guessing by now you’ve arrived safely in Thailand?
I was like you a year ago - concerned that I’d be enjoying my LIP life so much that I’d sort of forget to work and end up broke! What I’ve found instead however is the following:
a) There’s only so much relaxing you can do and if you’re motivated and stimulated by the work you do, you’ll want to do it and be itching to get back to it, once you’ve relaxed for a while.
b) You do enjoy the life but you’re ultra aware that if you don’t keep the income rolling in, it’ll stop and you’ll have to go back to your old life or England (aaaagh!!).
c) Life, no matter where you are, is what you make of it - it’s surprising how quickly you fall into habits and routines in a new place and for you, as long as this includes some measure of work, you’ll be fine!
Enjoy Thailand…bet you’re glad to get away from the miserable cold weather back in England.
It’s a pleasure Ray and welcome to the site!
Whereabouts have you been travelling? And where are you off to this time?
Hi Lea,
Like others, this is my first visit — but not my last. It appears many of us are grappling with the idea of freelancing. I’m returning to freelancing after a some time on the 9-to-5 rat race - it served as a good reminder why working for yourself is more enjoyable.
Your article focused on what’s holding many people back from freelancing - the fear of what’s beyond the ‘gate’ of regular employment. But if fear is of our own creation, we are also its master. See fear not as a wall beyond which lies the great unknown, but as a door waiting to be opened.
Thanks!
I did a RTW in 2005 with my wife. We traveled through parts of Asia, NZ, the Middle East and Eastern Europe. I have some more info / pics here: http://firewatching.com/photos.html
This time we’re moving to Japan. From there we hope to spend more time in Asia, specifically China and maybe Thailand / India.
Thanks again for a great site!
Ray
@Ed Sutherland - Hey Ed, thanks for commenting and welcome to the site. You are so right - fear is a crippler and I think the points Greg makes in this article and the fact that they didn’t come true serve to prove that fears are so often unfounded.
I like your saying “If fear is of our own creation, we are also its master” - it’s so very true. I also like to ask myself this, if I’m ever holding back from something because of fear: “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?”.
@ Ray - Japan - cool!!! I’d love to go to Japan and experience the culture. Do you speak the language?
Japan is fantastic. Yes, I speak Japanese - helps with the in-laws.
If you guys ever come, drop me a line. We love to show people around.
Hi Freebird,
I agree that Fear is for many a big motivating factor and I think knowledge and experience, either your own or that of others, helps you change your perception of fear.
Glad you enjoyed the post!
Hi Greg, Great post. I just “Stumbled your site.” I definitely have faced those 3 demons myself having been a business owner and then going back into the rat race and now wanting to be free again. Those demons are threatening me once again, But I will prevail!
“Never give up! Never surrender!”
- Captain Taggart from the movie, Galaxy Quest
Sincerely,
Eric Darby
Living in Japan, I will have to declare an interest as a LDP (bit of a play on the political landscape here) - a Location Dependent Professional.
Children can add a different perspective to the mix. That, and I like living here.
But mentor friend of mine about to leave Japan after nearly 20 years and retire to Thailand.
Guess we oldies are just longer wavelength LIPs?
Nice site Greg - have stumbled it too.
Nice blog - stumbleupon actually scores - how rare.
We run a team of indys all around the world. It is the only way to go! I love teasing my friends who work over the hill in
San Jose. They just need to understand how grateful I am that they live here in santa cruz and pay taxes to make the beach nice for me, the other work from home people here the tourists while they (tragically) work inland.
@Eric Darby - welcome to the site! Wow - so you’ve gone the other way and actually gone back to the rat race…how did you find that from being a business owner? What is it that you’re planning to do on your own again?
Good luck!
@Mark McClure - another reader in Japan, eh? You’ll have to get together with Ray who’s about to move there
There’s another phrase that the acronym LIP stands for that can apply to “oldies”….Location Independent Pensioners!!!! That’s what I’m calling my Dad & Stepmum at the moment - they have literally just left Italy (where they live) to spend 2 months in Thailand - their first foray into the LIP lifestyle. Expect a guest post from him in the next few weeks!
@Shane - glad you “stumbled” here and even gladder you liked it! I think there’s a very random connection in that I believe you know Jonathan Fields??…who also writes at Freelance Switch, who I also write for. What’s that??? 2 degree of separation?!? Small world
I do know jonathan - even more I was one of the early contributors to freelanceswitch back when I did my short stint guest posting for other peeps.
Turns out the internet aint so big is it?